Whether you run your own business, or work in a larger organization, you have almost certainly dealt with a difficult client relationship – or two. In this article we will use “client” to refer to both internal or external customers. By that definition, sooner or later we experience a client who is a poor fit for us. This becomes a pressing problem when you see a frequent pattern of negativity in your interactions. When that happens, it’s time to prioritize efforts to stop attracting toxic clients immediately. If you allow stressful, frustrating and costly relationships to continue unaddressed, you risk undermining, or even destroying, your brand and your organization.
What Defines a Toxic Client
Like every other type of toxic relationship, toxic client interactions are defined by being adversarial, negative, filled with misunderstandings, and demoralizing. It is very important to note that toxic clients are not necessarily to blame – the toxicity of the relationship has more to do with brand misalignment than faultfinding. Here are the signs you may be attracting toxic clients:
You dread interactions with them – it is inevitably tense.
There seems to be no pleasing them.
Arguments over price, delivery and process are frequent.
You feel you must manage their expectations and control the conversation.
Miscommunications are frequent.
They make extreme demands on your time and effort that are unpredictable and disruptive.
Convincing them to work with you – or renew a contract – is a battle.
They are unresponsive, indecisive, or passive-aggressive.
You begin to doubt yourself, second-guessing everything you do for them.
You find yourself complaining about them and/or gossiping about them.
You tolerate them, but ultimately, you don’t like them or what they stand for.
If you recognize any or all of these 10 signs in more than a fraction of your clients, then it’s time to look at the brand you are projecting, and make some changes – fast.
How Your Brand Attracts (or Repels) Toxic Clients
A brand is the container in which we form emotional bonds with clients. You can build endless website and social media content of how you want to be seen, but if it doesn’t accurately and authentically reflect what working with you really feels like, clients will quickly become disenchanted, frustrated and – yes – toxic very quickly.
Whether your brand is a personal brand or a business brand, the following represent several ways we can inadvertently create this dynamic:
We fail to believe in the real value of our skills and strengths. Instead, we try to pretend we are more, less or just plain different than we actually are. This puts us in a defensive position, working to mislead clients from the outset, which is both exhausting and unsustainable.
We are unclear about our mission, vision, values and/or purpose. If we aren’t clear about what we will stand for, then we are equally unclear about what we won’t stand for. Additionally, if we don’t know why we do what we do, or the unique values that drive our actions, then clients will reflect back to us that fuzzy thinking.
We are uncertain about our ideal clients. When we try to appeal to anyone or everyone out of a fear that our market is too small and specific, then we wind up appealing to no one. The result is we attract a wide array of clients who think they know who they are working with, but are quickly disappointed, and feel duped. There needs to be a client filtering process that weeds out the misfits before you engage – requiring you to say that taboo sales word: “no.”
We don’t know, or misunderstand, our brand personality. Personality profiles are all the rage for coaching clients, leaders and executives. But do you know what your brand personality is? Every brand has one, and it is wildly attractive to clients who have a similar approach, irrespective of the product or service you offer.
We lack awareness of, or confidence in, our brand affinity. Whether we are a mega-consumer brand or an individual trying to grow our influence within an organization, we create a brand affinity for ourselves. Brand affinity describes 7 factors that shape how we interact with others – including, most especially, our customers. We all have each of the 7 factors in some degree, but there’s typically one or two that are our main strength. When we grasp what those are, we present ourselves authentically and compellingly. My affinity assessment can help you understand which factors are dominant for you, and provides suggestions for how to leverage them.
We communicate poorly. Marketers today are fond of telling us we aren’t attracting enough clients because our message isn’t clear. They are right. But that’s only half of the story. The marketing message about clarity is usually focused on our outward facing communications – our positioning and placement.
However, the rest of the clarity happens after the client decides to hire us. What will the process be like from start to finish? Is there a timeline? Frequency? Who has responsibility and for what part? Is there a plan and accountability? Do we have points to check in and see how we are progressing? Do we provide feedback and celebrate wins? If this is not a part of your brand process, then don’t be surprised when you feel like you are always at cross-purposes with your clients.
In short, it is possible to repair toxic client relationships without having to move directly to the end game of “firing the client.” Repairing and restoring is often a longer process, which may involve some uncomfortable shifts, but it maintains growth with less disruption. Repairing relationships will also ensure future clients are far more ideal.